23. the creatures in tide pools

[orderfromchaos]

[Open spam in the chapel, since the kid flood, whenever.]

[When he isn't on shift at the infirmary, or trailing after Abigail like a concerned ginger puppy, Dillon is spending a lot of time in the chapel. Just - sitting, in the very front pew or the very back, wishing for saints and stained glass and stone, for something gaudy and familiar, the smell of sand and wood polish. But the chapel resists his homesickness, neat white plaster, well kept, effusively inoffensive. He tries kneeling, a couple times. But it doesn't feel right, and neither does prayer. So he sits, quiet, eyes forward on the Unitarian nondenominational emptiness, for an hour or two, watches the shadows from the little candles, tries to think about his mistakes, about his options, about nothing at all.]


[Private to Arthas]

I want to see you. Anywhere you'd rather meet?


[Spam for Jerry, backdated to after Allison's post, early the next morning on the tenth.]

[He's just sitting in the hallway, across from Jerry's door. He's not impatient. He's not even angry, really, just calm and steady. He was sloppy, he was absorbed with his own messes. But he made a promise. Allison's rambling plea for understanding as revenge didn't change that. Jerry made his choice, and now he has to face the consequences.]


[Private to Arkin, backdated to after the above]

I've turned Jerry human. I promised him he would, if he hurt anyone else outside self-defense, before you were assigned to him.


[Filtered to Abigail, Scott, Chris, Bucky, Gene, Helena, and Iris, backdated to after the above]

I turned Jerry human, and now he's threatening to leave my friends' corpses at my door like the worst cat in the world.

[He doesn't sound scared. He doesn't even sound mad. He is irritated, and a little disgusted. It was one thing with Okoya and Carter - there were actual stakes there. This is just Jerry being petulant.]

All of you could probably take him in a fair fight, but he's sneaky and mean, so keep an eye out, and kick him in the balls for me if he tries anything.


[Gift List]

Abigail - a print of Starry Night. Some clever board games - like, the kind that are actually interesting and thoughtful? Wise and Otherwise, Ticket to Ride, things like that. I don't think she got to play much as a kid. And some kind of meditative geometry game she could use for like - calm without emptiness, when she needs that. And some pretty dresses.

Bucky - a pineapple upside-down cake, and like, kevlar insert panels that work with the jacket he already has.

Bush - another pineapple upside-down cake, and good boots. Better boots? Like, comfy and insulating, modern REI science stuff, but looking period on the outside. And with the one weighted to make balancing on the fake leg easier.

Cambridge - the collected poems of Gerard Manley Hopkins.

Chris - ridiculous Motherfucker merch. Like, a bobblehead. And T-shirts with golden-age style onomatopoeia impact balloons. A pez dispenser!

Gene - a St. George Medallion. Silver, and a strong chain.

Helena - one of those little personal fold-out cabinet altars, with an old style painting of a bible story she always liked in the panels.

Iris - a tinsel crown, the Al Green christmas album, and tickets to all past and future black-and-white Harry Hunsacker plays.

Scott - The True Story of the Three Little Pigs

Simon - myrrh incense

Snafu - altoids, warm socks with good wicking layers or whatever, and a couple collections of Far Side comics.

Steve - some really good lamps? With flexible necks so he can position lighting how he wants for drawing. Bright and not too harsh, full sun spectrum.

And give all the forties guys a bunch of girl scout cookies.

Comments

[400yearsofsurvival]

I wasn't--

[ He'd expected touch to be necessary. Or to at least see some sort of shift in the guy. But there wasn't anything as far as he could see. Before it had been a sneaking emotion that crept in under everything else, tied directly to what Dillon had been doing at the time. But this was different. And it felt wrong.

Jerry was never one for retreat. But thanks to Mason, he knew what his human soul was like. Mangled, desperate, weak. He'd worked too hard to be forced back to that. So as he started to feel Dillon's magic, his body starting to revert in ways he'd never thought possible, the vampire did the one thing he thought he'd never do. He ran. Not a sprint, but the sudden unnatural motion of a vampire. But the short burst lasted only long enough to get him up the first flight stairs before it failed him. But that didn't mean he stopped. ]

[orderfromchaos]

[He almost laughs. He only doesn't because part of him is quite sure that if he starts, it will be very, very hard to stop. His range - his real range, the distance at which he can feel autumn leaves alighting back to their branches and strangers' crooked teeth grinding straight without his even wishing it, is hundreds of miles. The admiral stops him spilling over unconsciously more than a few feet, but there's no limits when he's trying. He couldn't pick out a body at that distance to revive, or at least he doesn't think so, but the full length of the barge is a very small fishbowl compared to a star.

He closes his eyes and feels Jerry's thrashing, desperate flight in his mind. And he keeps pushing, ignites respiration in Jerry's cells, begging for oxygen, sets his heart thumping to deliver it, in time - for now - with Dillon's own. He doesn't mess with Jerry's mind, beyond peeling back the cold insulation undeath afforded him. He's not transformed somehow into anyone else, not even another him; he loses no memories of himself or his choices. He is himself, but simply, utterly human. Hungry, most likely, because Dillon can't create blood sugar or sustenance that isn't there, but not tired.

He stands when it's done, follows Jerry up the stairs. He won't pursue hard; he doesn't have much to say. But it seems like Jerry should have the opportunity, if he wants to. And besides, his room is that direction.]

[400yearsofsurvival]

[ He tries to stop it, tries to will his body back to the way it should be. But his flight slowed on the stairs as his muscles were robbed of the supernatural force which drove them. They started aching from effort, demanding fuel his body lacked still. And when his lungs inflated involuntarily, he let out a wheezing sound as he dropped to his knees. It was one thing to breathe for the purposes of speech. It was entirely another to require the process.

He tried to get to his feet, to push on. As if he could some how escape the effects of Dillon's influence. But he was driven back down by a sudden lurch in his chest. His heart had worked before, in a way. But like breathing, it was an entirely different process. He felt it spread, an unfamiliar thrumming spreading through his entire body, flooding his ears with the sound of thunder.

The fruit that was so much a part of his diet was enough to keep the initial kick of hunger from overwhelming him. Not that he didn't already have enough to deal with. His senses were dulled. Vision, hearing, even touch seemed dull and lacking. All of it drowned out by the sense of what was happening inside him. Centuries without breathing, without a proper pulse. It was all he could feel, all he could hear.

He managed to push up to his feet, leaning hard on the wall. He felt heavy. Unfamiliar. He saw Dillon there. Even with the insulation removed, it was going to take time for those emotions to return and mingle with his own, just as it took time for the undead side to force out those emotions. So he managed the smallest, confident smile. Even if he sounded breathless when he spoke. ]

It won't last, you know.

[orderfromchaos]

[He shrugs.]

Nothing lasts forever.

[Except him, maybe, but he hopes not.]

The present still matters. And it's not difficult, if I have to do it again.

[He doesn't even sound vindictive. He's not gloating, he's just being clear. Jerry thought he was bluffing, but he wasn't. He almost never is. It might be a little less painful for everyone, if Jerry learns that.]

[400yearsofsurvival]

[ The wall seemed to be the only thing supporting him, as his body seemed to be slowly settling into this "life" thing. His breathing was staggered, the old process and the new process fighting each other. But even so weakened and fighting his own body, he still maintained the same attitude as before. That sense of looking down on Dillon. A predator looking upon something that was less than prey. An insect. Something that didn't matter and he couldn't use. ]

You don't really think this will stop me, do you, Dillon?

[orderfromchaos]

[A breath out, fast and light and curling into a wistful smile at the edges. He misses Lourdes, for all that she was miserable and selfish and cruel. He can't help but miss her.]

Control is not my domain. Nor my desire. I told you there would be consequences, and so there are.

Do you really still think I'm prey?

[Yes; yes, of course he does, right down in his freshly warm marrow, because the habits of centuries die hard. He has to bite his lip, because he is not laughing, he is still not laughing. Even if it's the funniest thing in a long time.]

[400yearsofsurvival]

[ But Jerry did laugh. It was a short, derisive burst, barely more than a snort. But it was still a laugh. ]

You? You're...useless.

[ Dillon had never been prey. He'd been something to avoid. ]

[orderfromchaos]

I am to you.

[A little hard-worn contentment; he's been used more than he cares for already.]

You'll want to eat soon. Start with crackers and apples, that shouldn't upset your stomach too badly. And don't forget to drink enough water.

[Jerry probably won't listen. But that will be his problem. Dillon sticks his hands in his pockets and continues past Jerry on the stairs.]

[400yearsofsurvival]

[ He regarded Dillon with cold disdain, resentment and mild irritation. The emotions were far sharper than he would like to admit. Usually, they were dull and easily ignored if needed to do so. Ripples in the surface of a deep ocean. But these were impossible to ignore. Not quite cresting waves yet, but more than he was used to.

Before he had anything to say, Dillon was walking away. Jerry tried to push himself off the wall, to follow after him and prove this was a futile. But his body was still acclimating. He slumped back against the wall with an involuntary grunt. A growl of frustration escaped him as he watched the other leave. So he rose his voice, calling after Dillon. ]

You're useless, but your friends aren't. Not when I leave their bodies at your cabin door.

[orderfromchaos]

Oh, bless your heart.

[It pops out without conscious thought; his mother's church-lady code for total disdain.]

That threat didn't work on me coming from someone far out of what used to be your league, who could kill in a way even I couldn't fix.

Every time you force a confrontation, I will win. But you'll be stubborn about it.

[He will; this is a thing Dillon knows about him. It would be sad, if it was someone less determinedly horrible.]

[400yearsofsurvival]

[ Jerry smiled. He actually smiled. It was a creep, cold and cruel sort of smile, but he was amused. Far more than a man should be when struggling under the weight of things like breath and a pulse when he'd gone so long without. ]

I know you'll put them together. And I'll just have to do it again. What would it do to them to remember that? All of that pain. And they'd die knowing it was your fault. You don't really want that, do you?

[orderfromchaos]

[Totally even, totally clear.]

I've killed too many people not to know the difference between really my fault and whatever shit you're trying to salve your pride with. And my friends are mostly smarter than I am.

Have a nice life, Jerry.

[He's going to walk away now.]

[400yearsofsurvival]

[ And Jerry's going to be left in silence. He still didn't understand Dillon. Almost everyone else on the ship, he'd been able to figure out their motives. Which buttons to push to get a reaction. But not Dillon.

What frustrated him even more is even if he COULD find the right button, it was unlikely he'd be able to follow through on any threats thanks to his new state. So for now, he was going to sink to the floor and wait until he was used to this whole "breathing" thing before moving anywhere. ]