27. the clear pebbles of the rain

[orderfromchaos]

[He tried this a year ago, when he was new. He was unconscious when it happened last. Maybe no one heard him because he wasn't capable of saying what he needed to say.]

Winston, Lourdes, if you guys can hear this. I know you don't trust me, I know you don't even like me. But all the souls Okoya took, all the souls he fed you - they're okay. They're...wherever they're supposed to go.

And I love you.

I'll be home before you know it.

Comments

private

[darknessb4me]

Your deal?

private

[orderfromchaos]

Yeah. It - I had to.

private

[darknessb4me]

Good.

Was that you, at the dam?

private

[orderfromchaos]

[A small, resigned sigh.]

Yeah.

It didn't work. Obviously.

private

[darknessb4me]

You told me. The river flowed backwards.

private

[orderfromchaos]

And the water cured people's diabetes for a few months. Or so I hear.

[Wry, tired. Very light self-loathing.]

private

[darknessb4me]

Who were the empty ones, that you killed with you? Did they stay dead?

private

[orderfromchaos]

They were - just people, who'd got pulled into my orbit. People I'd hurt and then healed who didn't want to leave. And Okoya, the thing I told you about, he ate them or - fed them to the others.

They stayed dead. So that's - something.

private

[darknessb4me]

Good.

[humanmonster]

Feeding on souls?

[orderfromchaos]

...it's a long story.

[humanmonster]

Is it also a long story why my diary's started speaking to me?

[orderfromchaos]

There's definitely a long version.

The short version is. Magic communications with a very long range and very poor targeting.

So. Um. Hi?

[humanmonster]

[ She's binding her hair away, as soon as she realizes he can see her. It goes wrapped up in a scarf, in quick and smooth movements, not a strand escaping. ]

If you're going to show up here talking about souls, I think you should tell me what that long story is.

audio

[orderfromchaos]

[And he can see, in the precision and practice of her movements, some of the reason for it, some of the worry and resignation. And - yeah, it's really. Very pretty. He swallows, then changes the setting.]

...I can't see you anymore. If that's not. Clear.

There was a - I call him a spirit predator. From another kind of world, all made of energy, and souls are what his people eat. Like, naturally, I guess.

[Even though that is pretty shudder-inducing to think about. But. That is what predators are.]

And me and my friends - we're. Weird. We have weird abilities and we can influence a lot of people. He found us and manipulated us for a long time, and he fed souls to them without them knowing. It was really messed up.

[humanmonster]

[ She goes quiet. It's not something that she would have thought of, or would have been able to do, given that this was a power that she'd never experienced before. But it shows some consideration. And she can't feel his mind - he's too far away. So he'd be as free from her influence as anyone ever was.

She finishes tying the headscarf anyway. But she listens. And she swallows. ]

I can influence people too.

[orderfromchaos]

I could tell, a little bit. Not details. I do that - know things. But it only really works when I can see people.

[He just. Feels like it's only fair that she knows.]

It's not as fun as people think, is it?

[ h a h a understatement]

[humanmonster]

[ She gives a sudden, choked laugh. No, it's not as fun. It's not fun. ]

[orderfromchaos]

You get it worse than I did, I think. People just want me to keep them and fix everything that makes them people.

[humanmonster]

What makes someone a person?

[orderfromchaos]

That's a really long story.

[Mostly because English doesn't have good words for any of it.]

Pain and fear and hope and small delights and strange fixations and dreams of any size. The mottled fingerprints of a life. Chaos and choice and consequences.

[humanmonster]

...that's a better answer than I was expecting.

[orderfromchaos]

Thanks?

I've had a lot of time to think about it.