orderfromchaos | 23. the creatures in tide pools

[Open spam in the chapel, since the kid flood, whenever.]

[When he isn't on shift at the infirmary, or trailing after Abigail like a concerned ginger puppy, Dillon is spending a lot of time in the chapel. Just - sitting, in the very front pew or the very back, wishing for saints and stained glass and stone, for something gaudy and familiar, the smell of sand and wood polish. But the chapel resists his homesickness, neat white plaster, well kept, effusively inoffensive. He tries kneeling, a couple times. But it doesn't feel right, and neither does prayer. So he sits, quiet, eyes forward on the Unitarian nondenominational emptiness, for an hour or two, watches the shadows from the little candles, tries to think about his mistakes, about his options, about nothing at all.]

[Private to Arthas]

I want to see you. Anywhere you'd rather meet?

[Spam for Jerry, backdated to after Allison's post, early the next morning on the tenth.]

[He's just sitting in the hallway, across from Jerry's door. He's not impatient. He's not even angry, really, just calm and steady. He was sloppy, he was absorbed with his own messes. But he made a promise. Allison's rambling plea for understanding as revenge didn't change that. Jerry made his choice, and now he has to face the consequences.]

[Private to Arkin, backdated to after the above]

I've turned Jerry human. I promised him he would, if he hurt anyone else outside self-defense, before you were assigned to him.

[Filtered to Abigail, Scott, Chris, Bucky, Gene, Helena, and Iris, backdated to after the above]

I turned Jerry human, and now he's threatening to leave my friends' corpses at my door like the worst cat in the world.

[He doesn't sound scared. He doesn't even sound mad. He is irritated, and a little disgusted. It was one thing with Okoya and Carter - there were actual stakes there. This is just Jerry being petulant.]

All of you could probably take him in a fair fight, but he's sneaky and mean, so keep an eye out, and kick him in the balls for me if he tries anything.

[Gift List]

Abigail - a print of Starry Night. Some clever board games - like, the kind that are actually interesting and thoughtful? Wise and Otherwise, Ticket to Ride, things like that. I don't think she got to play much as a kid. And some kind of meditative geometry game she could use for like - calm without emptiness, when she needs that. And some pretty dresses.

Bucky - a pineapple upside-down cake, and like, kevlar insert panels that work with the jacket he already has.

Bush - another pineapple upside-down cake, and good boots. Better boots? Like, comfy and insulating, modern REI science stuff, but looking period on the outside. And with the one weighted to make balancing on the fake leg easier.

Cambridge - the collected poems of Gerard Manley Hopkins.

Chris - ridiculous Motherfucker merch. Like, a bobblehead. And T-shirts with golden-age style onomatopoeia impact balloons. A pez dispenser!

Gene - a St. George Medallion. Silver, and a strong chain.

Helena - one of those little personal fold-out cabinet altars, with an old style painting of a bible story she always liked in the panels.

Iris - a tinsel crown, the Al Green christmas album, and tickets to all past and future black-and-white Harry Hunsacker plays.

Scott - The True Story of the Three Little Pigs

Simon - myrrh incense

Snafu - altoids, warm socks with good wicking layers or whatever, and a couple collections of Far Side comics.

Steve - some really good lamps? With flexible necks so he can position lighting how he wants for drawing. Bright and not too harsh, full sun spectrum.

And give all the forties guys a bunch of girl scout cookies.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Not in your house, I hope.

Nah. Started a few years ago. It's changed a lot, too.

[He doesn't mind saying; but there's so much to explain, and it's so weird.]

[It's the wind that really fucks with him, whisking away his studiously heated bubble faster than he can harass the universe into making it. And even though there's always some overlap at the edges, weather belongs to Michael; it's a hard system for Dillon to get traction on. He shivers, breathing steaming, splits his attention and continues to keep himself warm, makes up for the finickiness of it and his inability to consciously process millions of molecules with more raw power. Once he starts letting loose, it always comes easier.]

What would you do if I did?

No. But if he's going to start things, I'm going to finish them.

[ Jerry smiled. He actually smiled. It was a creep, cold and cruel sort of smile, but he was amused. Far more than a man should be when struggling under the weight of things like breath and a pulse when he'd gone so long without. ]

I know you'll put them together. And I'll just have to do it again. What would it do to them to remember that? All of that pain. And they'd die knowing it was your fault. You don't really want that, do you?

[Totally even, totally clear.]

I've killed too many people not to know the difference between really my fault and whatever shit you're trying to salve your pride with. And my friends are mostly smarter than I am.

Have a nice life, Jerry.

[He's going to walk away now.]

I know.

[And that would be kind of great.]

As long as we're clear on that.

Clear as crystal.

I just don't want you to have to, you know?

He's not going to make me do anything I don't want to do.

He's not the threat he wants to be. He's still really annoying, is all.

[ And Jerry's going to be left in silence. He still didn't understand Dillon. Almost everyone else on the ship, he'd been able to figure out their motives. Which buttons to push to get a reaction. But not Dillon.

What frustrated him even more is even if he COULD find the right button, it was unlikely he'd be able to follow through on any threats thanks to his new state. So for now, he was going to sink to the floor and wait until he was used to this whole "breathing" thing before moving anywhere. ]

Drag you to the infirmary.

[He says it as if it was obvious, as though he hadn't made every possible signal to indicate otherwise, and deliberately so.]

Maybe someone will punch him in the face.

It's got to happen sooner or later.

[If he is surprised, he doesn't show it, just sticks his hands in his pockets.]

Why?

[Curious, not disbelieving. There are a lot of possible answers.]

Because.

[Arthas frowns. He's not used to examining his own logic.]

It would indicate damage worse than being stabbed.

[He exhales, the hint of a smile playing at his lips.]

Good. That's good.

[It seems worthier, this way. Something that can ache but not hurt acutely. Something he can believe in.]

I don't know if I believe that consumption and destruction are the same thing.

Does it frighten you, talking about this?

It isn't always. But this way, it is.

[He knows; it's his nature to know. There is nothing to put back together; there is the way the dripping light screams.]

No. Not...fear. The damage is already done. I'm afraid there's more I don't know about, but talking doesn't make that better or worse.

It - horrifies me. Humbles me too, a little.

Which matters because - that's what you've done? That's what I allowed already? That's a warrior's sort of death?

I'm not a warrior, particularly.

It matters because you'd be dead. Injured. Whatever.

[He's making this too complicated, and it's frustrating.]

That's probably for the best, honestly.

[Chris' uniqueness makes Scott smile a little, halfhearted but still honest. He nods, mulling it over. It's not like there's another vampire from Jerry's world to turn him again.]

Do you plan on turning him back, eventually?

Huh.

[Humbles. He never would've thought the person who could do this to him could be humbled.]

You're not what I expected.

People almost never are. When you really look.

[This is respectful, more than anything else. Dillon has a lot of experience with people who can't or won't see past their expectations. Roderick has his blinders, but not many.

Roderick isn't quite what Dillon expected either.]

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23. the creatures in tide pools

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