orderfromchaos | 12. Mea...culpa?

[Public, video]

[They're the kitchen of Dillon's parents' house: relentlessly suburban, a few southwestern touches, from the touristy Navajo-ish vase on the table to the sepia color palette, well-coordinated. There are floral magnets on the fridge, and one Hannibal Lecter humming as he makes what appears to be gourmet tomato soup and fresh-baked bread. He's wearing an open lab coat over his suit that he grabbed while attempting to join an infirmary shift, right before Dillon hurriedly hustled him out.]

I kind of...fixed him.

[Not like you fix a car; Hannibal wasn't broken, he was himself. Like you fix a dog.]

I thought it would wear off but it hasn't, and his room is the same so it doesn't count for graduation but I don't. Actually know how to undo it.

He's not faking, either.

[Voice pitched more deliberately across the room, though he hasn't been been whispering or anything; Hannibal could have heard him before if he was listening.

Hey, Hannibal, say sorry to the nice people.

[Hannibal pauses, sets down the wooden spoon and turns to the comm, contrite, shifting, a little uncertain.]

I'm terribly sorry for what I've done. It seems almost unreal, but I do not mean to belittle anyone's suffering. I apologize.

[Dillon waves him back to the soup.]

[Private to Jean]

I'm pretty sure what you do is more. Versatile, than mine. I know it's a lot to ask, but could you check and see if you can reverse it?

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once i tried to go into a church and i couldn't get through the yard bc all the people buried there started coming back in their coffins

it was too much for the human part of me and i passed out but im pretty sure it didn't stop

thats when the admiral pulled me back again last time

there's very little that actually scares me, Dillon, but you do it without even meaning to.

you should work with Rogue. Get what control you can over it, because this can't keep happening.

And you're doing well with Elsa, aren't you? You can get a grip on this one way or another.

that said, part of me really hopes Lecter learns something from this experience.

[It scares him too. It always has.]

i am working with her

both of us are

but it's mostly using it sharper and smarter

idk if ill ever be able to hold it all in

its so big, Iris

Edited 2014-08-03 23:18 (UTC)

usually I'd deploy "that's what all the blokes say" at this point but I feel a bit weird slinging penis jokes at someone your age even if you are a complicated spacetime event.

if I were religious I'd say that we aren't given anything beyond our capacity to handle, but that's a platitude and a lie; this boat's full of people who had far more than they could ever hope to have handled.

nevertheless, you are going to handle it because the other option is not to be borne. you could remake the universe like Lecter or that tree. I'm just passionately grateful that you're intelligent enough not to want to.

let me know if you and Jean could use me. you two have more than enough power between you but I might have a useful perspective.

[He turns brick red, hides his face in his hands from no one as he laughs. He hadn't even thought -]

thanks iris

i needed that laugh today

i used to be religious you know. and then i was a religion. idk what i am now. but im working on it.

Edited 2014-08-03 23:48 (UTC)

one day, when you're a little less prone to rewrite reality in your sleep, I should like to take you travelling.

I knew a girl once who started out as human and then got turned into a TARDIS. you remind me a little of her, if she hadn't been a humourless stick. her name was Compassion, and ...it turned out to be appropriate enough.

learning to handle herself was a steep road for her, too, and not without its share of disasters.

you really think I can?

[He's HAVinG a LOt oF FEELINGS.]

Yes. Because however big it is, you have free will and you will master yourself. That's what sentience is for.

Edited 2014-08-04 00:25 (UTC)

[She says sentience; but he hears that's what souls are for. He might be damned, but - he's still got that. And so does Hannibal, as it happens. So many people have believed in things they made up for him to be, but so few people have believed in him - the other shards turning away from him at Hearst castle still stings, even though he knows they were manipulated by Okoya as much as he was, worse. Even though he failed them first.]

thanks, iris. it means a lot.

Edited 2014-08-04 00:35 (UTC)

12. Mea...culpa?

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[private] omg i do not have a blushy enough icon for this

[private] <3 <3

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