[His mouth goes to a thin line, but he drops his eyes. Blight isn't quite right - Dillon has invited hatred more than once - but he isn't wrong, either. He thinks about it, the squirming shame in his stomach when he thinks about, yes, what people see. After a pause, quietly.]
I can't see my own pattern, did you know? I mean. It would probably drive me totally crazy if I did. All the ripples all the time, and that's not even getting into free will and despair stuff. So it's better that I can't.
But it's still - disconcerting, flying blind when it comes to the choices about my own life.
I don't want to be someone who makes excuses for something like this. I could become such a monster, so easily. I could rip the planet apart if I started letting myself justify things.
And with everything I have to do, and how almost no one can stop me, how other people see me is some of the only feedback I get against when I've gone too far.
[voice ; private]
I can't see my own pattern, did you know? I mean. It would probably drive me totally crazy if I did. All the ripples all the time, and that's not even getting into free will and despair stuff. So it's better that I can't.
But it's still - disconcerting, flying blind when it comes to the choices about my own life.
I don't want to be someone who makes excuses for something like this. I could become such a monster, so easily. I could rip the planet apart if I started letting myself justify things.
And with everything I have to do, and how almost no one can stop me, how other people see me is some of the only feedback I get against when I've gone too far.